eHarmony.com Review
Tested: July/1/2010 |
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Review
"Traditional" Online Dating looks like this: you set up a profile and search through hundreds of profiles to find someone interesting. And in the end, you probably discover the person isn't even similar to you or isn't really interested in a serious relationship.
eHarmony puts an end to such disappointments. The largest online dating community worldwide (more than 20 million members across all 50 states and in 191 countries) follows a unique scientific approach: using a 29 Dimensions of personality Model, eHarmony brings you only highly compatible matches. The 29 dimensions are scientifically-based predictors of long-term relationship success.
How it works: as you register (for free), you complete a free detailed personality test. Your matches are selected on the results of this test. You need around 40-60 minutes to complete the test, which is quite interesting, because you probably will discover things about yourself that you didn't know before. On the other hand, this in-depth test ensures they are only people on eHarmony who are serious about finding a life mate. Right after the test, eHarmony presents you members who are similar to you (and you get new matches on a regular basis).
That means you don't even have to search for your matches - eHarmony gives you the matches, and only highly compatible ones. And you not only receive your matches, but also can review them for free. Unfortunately you have to subscribe to communicate with your matches - but this is common on non-free dating sites.
As an option, you can follow a Guided Communication process that will help you get started: You can choose 5 multiple-choice questions that will help you build rapport and break the ice. You can also compare your list of "must haves" and "can't stands" with those of your matches. eHarmony also helps you write and exchange deep questions that explore issues people often overlook until it's too late. If you don't want to use the Guided Communication you can choose the Fast Track option and move directly to Open Communication with a match.
For those of you who worry whether there are enough (quality) women on eHarmony: this site has the best females/males ratio (71/29 %) of all dating sites. There are more than twice as many women as men!And with more than 20 million members it has to say something.
The design of the site is plain and simple, which makes the navigation easy. The downside: eHarmony isn't exactly cheap - you pay $19.95 a month for a 12 months-membership, $29.95 per month for 6 months, $39.95 a month for 3 months and $59.95 for 1 month. But considering the unique service you get and the amount of money you spend on a real date, it's still worth trying. eHarmony accepts PayPal, so you don't need a credit card to subscribe.
P.S. Recently eHarmony started a new relationship service to help couples achieve stronger, healthier and happier marriages. So, even if you already have found a mate, you can still go to eharmony to improve your relationship.
 | To eHarmony.com |
All Features:
 | 20 million registered users across all 50 states and in 191 countries |
| Scientific match-approach (29 Dimensions of personality Model; the selected dimensions are scientifically-based predictors of long-term relationship success) |
| Only Highly Compatible Matches (right after the profile setup) |
| Free Registration |
| Free Personality Profile (worth $40) |
| Receive and Review your Matches for Free |
| Guided Communication (5 Questions, Must-Haves & Can't Stands aso.) and Fast Track (Open Communication) |
| Communicate With Your Matches (as a subscriber) |
| See Who's Viewed Your Profile ('') |
| Secure Call (keep your number private, Premium Service) |
| RelyID (verifies your name, city, and age, Premium Service) |
| Premium Personality Profile (expanded version of the standard match.com Personality Profile, Premium Service) |
Pros and Cons:
The Pros:
- Largest online dating community (20 million users across all 50 states and in 191 countries)
- The best females/males ratio (71/29 %): more than twice as many women as men!
- Scientific match-approach (29 Dimensions Model)
- Receive and Review your matches for free
- Only highly compatible matches
- Free and informative Personality Profile (worth $40)
- No time-consuming search (match.com does the search for you)
- Simple design & easy communication
- No Credit Card Needed (PayPal friendly)
The Cons:
- You can only contact Paying Members
- Could be Cheaper
| To eHarmony.com |
User Comments:
by Turbot42 - Rating: 
If you are serious about meeting a match, eHarmony is for you. It definitely takes some time to fill out the personality profile, but it is worth the effort. Unlike the other dating sites where everyone can message everyone, eHarmony guides you through the communication process with only those who match your personality profile. It's free to try so I suggest you give it a shot like I did. You will be pleasantly surprised.
If you are serious about meeting a match, eHarmony is for you. It definitely takes some time to fill out the personality profile, but it is worth the effort. Unlike the other dating sites where everyone can message everyone, eHarmony guides you through the communication process with only those who match your personality profile. It's free to try so I suggest you give it a shot like I did. You will be pleasantly surprised.
by LSF, Florida - Rating:
I dated on many of the free sites without finding any real meaningful relationships. The guys I met were really just looking to score and most were poor. I then at a friends suggestion signed up for eHarmony.
Although the questionnaire was lengthy I didn't have any issues with it. You would have to illiterate and a real dolt if you couldn't complete it. eHarmony's first test to get rid of phase I weeds. If they didn't like your answers and you were rejected then maybe it's because you shouldn't be dating at all and your a just a big loser. Because as long as you have the money and your straight that's pretty much their only requirements. Immediately after signing on I received approval and the matching began.
The firsy guy was really nice and after the initial eHarmony online correspondence we started chatting on the phone. He lived in another State but he drove hundreds of miles to meet me in person. We met for lunch in a restaurant but when I saw him for the first time he failed to mention previously that he looked nothing like his photo so that was an issue for me as he resembled Shrek. I continued with lunch but that was the last time we communicated unless you count him stalking me via phone calls and hundreds emails later until he finally and blissfully gave up.
eHarmony date number 2 was much better although he was kind of ugly he didn't lie about it so I knew in advance he was short and ugly. He had a fantastic personality and was alot of fun and it didn't hurt that he was a Surgeon and had this serious professional side. We dated for a few months but he was a little on the immature side believe it or not so we just became friends and remain so until this day.
Match number three became my husband a wonderful, handsome, tall, fun and financially responsible man who is the love of my life. You know what they say three times the charm!
I dated on many of the free sites without finding any real meaningful relationships. The guys I met were really just looking to score and most were poor. I then at a friends suggestion signed up for eHarmony.
Although the questionnaire was lengthy I didn't have any issues with it. You would have to illiterate and a real dolt if you couldn't complete it. eHarmony's first test to get rid of phase I weeds. If they didn't like your answers and you were rejected then maybe it's because you shouldn't be dating at all and your a just a big loser. Because as long as you have the money and your straight that's pretty much their only requirements. Immediately after signing on I received approval and the matching began.
The firsy guy was really nice and after the initial eHarmony online correspondence we started chatting on the phone. He lived in another State but he drove hundreds of miles to meet me in person. We met for lunch in a restaurant but when I saw him for the first time he failed to mention previously that he looked nothing like his photo so that was an issue for me as he resembled Shrek. I continued with lunch but that was the last time we communicated unless you count him stalking me via phone calls and hundreds emails later until he finally and blissfully gave up.
eHarmony date number 2 was much better although he was kind of ugly he didn't lie about it so I knew in advance he was short and ugly. He had a fantastic personality and was alot of fun and it didn't hurt that he was a Surgeon and had this serious professional side. We dated for a few months but he was a little on the immature side believe it or not so we just became friends and remain so until this day.
Match number three became my husband a wonderful, handsome, tall, fun and financially responsible man who is the love of my life. You know what they say three times the charm!
by jjss83 - Rating:
I joined eHarmony as a whim in the spring of 2007. I'd already had only minor (and fleeting) success with yahoo! personals and match.com. It was a lot to join but I thought in the end, if it prevented the problems with being completely and totally incompatible with my matches, it was worth it. The quiz was long, yes, and tedious, but again - isn't finding someone for life worth a couple hours of your time to do it right?
I was active for 3-4 months, sending a lot of first communications, getting to some second question ones but rarely getting to open communication. After I had two first dates with two different guys that I felt no connection with, I gave up and changed the settings to send me no matches. When my year was almost up, I decided to get my money's worth and give it another go. After another month, I was matched to the man who I ended up marrying.
Yes, there are flaws in the eHarmony system. As with anything. The open communication option at the beginning of a match failed a few times, my matches weren't always what they claimed to be and I had a friend who was told they could find no matches for him. But...in the end, it helped me find the love of my life.
EHarmony works if you are ready for that type of a match service. If you are going after just looks, use something else. If actual compatibility is important to you, use something that actually tries to gauge your personality and values. My biggest issue with Match.com and Yahoo! is that I had people I had nothing in common with that I met for drinks. It was a waste of time.
Also, asking you to change your qualifications isn't asking you to lie. It's telling you that you need to decide what is a deal breaker and what isn't. If you mark no drinking, and you actually just don't want to marry a partier, you might find that marking "never drinking" for your match might limit the parameters too much - and that your match might exist as someone who considers themselves an occasional drinker.
End of story: eHarmony is a computer program created by a person, ut's not itself an intelligent being. It doesn't take into consideration misunderstandings, human error or pure stupidity. It simply gives you results for the values (i.e. answers) you put in. If you have no matches, check back in a week. You might simply be unique enough with your personality and your preferences (including distance) that no one fits it at the moment. It's hardly a computer dating service insulting you.
I joined eHarmony as a whim in the spring of 2007. I'd already had only minor (and fleeting) success with yahoo! personals and match.com. It was a lot to join but I thought in the end, if it prevented the problems with being completely and totally incompatible with my matches, it was worth it. The quiz was long, yes, and tedious, but again - isn't finding someone for life worth a couple hours of your time to do it right?
I was active for 3-4 months, sending a lot of first communications, getting to some second question ones but rarely getting to open communication. After I had two first dates with two different guys that I felt no connection with, I gave up and changed the settings to send me no matches. When my year was almost up, I decided to get my money's worth and give it another go. After another month, I was matched to the man who I ended up marrying.
Yes, there are flaws in the eHarmony system. As with anything. The open communication option at the beginning of a match failed a few times, my matches weren't always what they claimed to be and I had a friend who was told they could find no matches for him. But...in the end, it helped me find the love of my life.
EHarmony works if you are ready for that type of a match service. If you are going after just looks, use something else. If actual compatibility is important to you, use something that actually tries to gauge your personality and values. My biggest issue with Match.com and Yahoo! is that I had people I had nothing in common with that I met for drinks. It was a waste of time.
Also, asking you to change your qualifications isn't asking you to lie. It's telling you that you need to decide what is a deal breaker and what isn't. If you mark no drinking, and you actually just don't want to marry a partier, you might find that marking "never drinking" for your match might limit the parameters too much - and that your match might exist as someone who considers themselves an occasional drinker.
End of story: eHarmony is a computer program created by a person, ut's not itself an intelligent being. It doesn't take into consideration misunderstandings, human error or pure stupidity. It simply gives you results for the values (i.e. answers) you put in. If you have no matches, check back in a week. You might simply be unique enough with your personality and your preferences (including distance) that no one fits it at the moment. It's hardly a computer dating service insulting you.
by K, San Jose - Rating:
I think eharmony is a very good dating site, and I like that it is not as public as the other options. You are just matched with a few people every day and only these matches have access to your profile and photos. I feel that I am being matched well and that the men I have met, are very interesting to me and vice versa. In fact, I think I may have found love. What I am noticing is that in the first week you receive your the best, most proximate matches, so I recommend writing a really good profile right in the beginning because if you make improvements later, you may already have been closed out by potentially very good matches. Post your best pictures and completely complete the few profile questions to reflect your own unique personality. Later matches seem less appealing and from more distant locales. A one month membership is sufficient to get a feel for the available dating scene around you. I do find the matches are very interested in a committed relationship, and I have been matched with quality people. Good luck!
I think eharmony is a very good dating site, and I like that it is not as public as the other options. You are just matched with a few people every day and only these matches have access to your profile and photos. I feel that I am being matched well and that the men I have met, are very interesting to me and vice versa. In fact, I think I may have found love. What I am noticing is that in the first week you receive your the best, most proximate matches, so I recommend writing a really good profile right in the beginning because if you make improvements later, you may already have been closed out by potentially very good matches. Post your best pictures and completely complete the few profile questions to reflect your own unique personality. Later matches seem less appealing and from more distant locales. A one month membership is sufficient to get a feel for the available dating scene around you. I do find the matches are very interested in a committed relationship, and I have been matched with quality people. Good luck!
by jcm, NV - Rating:
I started to check out online dating in general about 1.5 weeks ago. I got a short term membership on all the major sites…Yahoo has been an utter waste of time and money. Fortunately, I have already canceled my membership.
Eharmony on the other hand has been sending me 5-6 matches a day of mostly attractive women close to my age and with rather similar interests to mine. I can quickly see who I might want to "close" to any further communication based on their photos and/or profiles and the ladies can do the same to me. Some people might get mad and feel rejected, but I think this is great. If you don't think you'll be compatable with someone, you can quickly "close" the match and focus your time on the ones with whom you might share a mutual interest and attraction.
Already I have been communicating with several ladies none of whom I believe are fake profiles set-up by the company.
I can't attest to any success I have yet in actually meeting anyone in person, but that will largely depend on me and my matches. No online dating site can help with that.
Maybe some people need to take a closer look at themselves and not be so quick to blame others for their failures.
I started to check out online dating in general about 1.5 weeks ago. I got a short term membership on all the major sites…Yahoo has been an utter waste of time and money. Fortunately, I have already canceled my membership.
Eharmony on the other hand has been sending me 5-6 matches a day of mostly attractive women close to my age and with rather similar interests to mine. I can quickly see who I might want to "close" to any further communication based on their photos and/or profiles and the ladies can do the same to me. Some people might get mad and feel rejected, but I think this is great. If you don't think you'll be compatable with someone, you can quickly "close" the match and focus your time on the ones with whom you might share a mutual interest and attraction.
Already I have been communicating with several ladies none of whom I believe are fake profiles set-up by the company.
I can't attest to any success I have yet in actually meeting anyone in person, but that will largely depend on me and my matches. No online dating site can help with that.
Maybe some people need to take a closer look at themselves and not be so quick to blame others for their failures.
by RAUL, Stockton - Rating:
I don't expect to find the "1 " in two days. That being said, so far I have had about 40 matches [member 3 days] 4 of which I am interested in and 1 who matches my profile almost to the T. I have made the e-harmony requested steps and set the communication wheels in motion. I was matched to her today so like fishing i'll give it time. To give up after two days may be a little impatient or shallow.
I don't expect to find the "1 " in two days. That being said, so far I have had about 40 matches [member 3 days] 4 of which I am interested in and 1 who matches my profile almost to the T. I have made the e-harmony requested steps and set the communication wheels in motion. I was matched to her today so like fishing i'll give it time. To give up after two days may be a little impatient or shallow.
by David, Dallas, Texas - Rating:
I'm sure it's frustrating to not be able to find someone you like on the site, but frankly I have been on there a few months and haven't found the one, found some really nice people, but I honestly don't think you can blame a website for that. It is far from perfect, but soo much better than those other dating websites by leaps and bounds!
I'm sure it's frustrating to not be able to find someone you like on the site, but frankly I have been on there a few months and haven't found the one, found some really nice people, but I honestly don't think you can blame a website for that. It is far from perfect, but soo much better than those other dating websites by leaps and bounds!
by PM, San Francisco - Rating:
I'm giving eHarmony 4 stars because it did work for me. (From friends that have tried EH, it's about 50/50 so minus one star for that.)
I was on EH for about 3 months before I was successfully matched with my current bf. I'd gone through a 6 yr relationship, and then a 3 yr alone time period before signing up. Never really dated before. I learned a lot about the dating process through EH.
Craigslist and other free dating sites were ruled out because: 1. more potential for hookups than relationships and 2. I didn't like the idea that just anyone could look at my profile, especially the old men and creeps.
EH makes you prioritize 10 "must haves" qualities in your mate and 10 "can't stands. " There is no perfect match and by limiting to just 10 and 10, it forces to you think what do you really want? My list got fine tuned as the process went along. I did not expect that.
If you pick EH, you must be patient. You're paying for their Process. (Go to Match if you want instant results.) While I was on EH, most of the time I got about 7 new matches a day, until the end where they ran out of matches I guess. I learned that playing with the settings got me different results. For example, the first month I was a little dismayed - I kept getting engineers, some shorter than me. It wasn't until I changed my alcohol setting from "Never drinks" to no preference that I started getting some variety. The reality is most people drink, at least socially. Duh!
One limitation for EH is they often have the free weekend promotions and I've heard they don't toss the closed profiles. My way of dealing with the non payers and the expired was to only *respond* to communication rather than spend a whole lot of time initiating contact.
You can't get upset that people close you. I was getting so many matches everyday that it didn't really bother me. At the same time, I'm closing people based on picture too. Aren't we all shallow? Many of the profiles sound the same (every guy lists he likes working out as a hobby) - so then how do we judge other than by stereotypes? Job, race, photos, height.
Finally the matches I met in person were all "possibles." No one was way off - we just didn't have chemistry. That said, with any relationship, it's all about Timing and Luck...and those are factors that EH cannot control.
I'm giving eHarmony 4 stars because it did work for me. (From friends that have tried EH, it's about 50/50 so minus one star for that.)
I was on EH for about 3 months before I was successfully matched with my current bf. I'd gone through a 6 yr relationship, and then a 3 yr alone time period before signing up. Never really dated before. I learned a lot about the dating process through EH.
Craigslist and other free dating sites were ruled out because: 1. more potential for hookups than relationships and 2. I didn't like the idea that just anyone could look at my profile, especially the old men and creeps.
EH makes you prioritize 10 "must haves" qualities in your mate and 10 "can't stands. " There is no perfect match and by limiting to just 10 and 10, it forces to you think what do you really want? My list got fine tuned as the process went along. I did not expect that.
If you pick EH, you must be patient. You're paying for their Process. (Go to Match if you want instant results.) While I was on EH, most of the time I got about 7 new matches a day, until the end where they ran out of matches I guess. I learned that playing with the settings got me different results. For example, the first month I was a little dismayed - I kept getting engineers, some shorter than me. It wasn't until I changed my alcohol setting from "Never drinks" to no preference that I started getting some variety. The reality is most people drink, at least socially. Duh!
One limitation for EH is they often have the free weekend promotions and I've heard they don't toss the closed profiles. My way of dealing with the non payers and the expired was to only *respond* to communication rather than spend a whole lot of time initiating contact.
You can't get upset that people close you. I was getting so many matches everyday that it didn't really bother me. At the same time, I'm closing people based on picture too. Aren't we all shallow? Many of the profiles sound the same (every guy lists he likes working out as a hobby) - so then how do we judge other than by stereotypes? Job, race, photos, height.
Finally the matches I met in person were all "possibles." No one was way off - we just didn't have chemistry. That said, with any relationship, it's all about Timing and Luck...and those are factors that EH cannot control.
by Caitlin, Massachusetts - Rating:
I have one word for all of you people, PATIENCE :) Believe me, I was in the same boat, getting people who were obese, not attractive, etc. I waited it out, and Thank God I did, because I was finally getting matched with some very interesting, compatible, attractive men. One of which that I have now been with for two years. We are "compatible" in every way, we are literally the male and female version of each other, we share the same beliefs, same values, and love each other deeply. Could this have just been pure luck? Absolutely! But I still have to thank E Harmony, if it wasn't for them I wouldnt be going on a trip to Aruba next week with the love of my life! :)
I hope you all find the happiness in love that you are looking for!
I have one word for all of you people, PATIENCE :) Believe me, I was in the same boat, getting people who were obese, not attractive, etc. I waited it out, and Thank God I did, because I was finally getting matched with some very interesting, compatible, attractive men. One of which that I have now been with for two years. We are "compatible" in every way, we are literally the male and female version of each other, we share the same beliefs, same values, and love each other deeply. Could this have just been pure luck? Absolutely! But I still have to thank E Harmony, if it wasn't for them I wouldnt be going on a trip to Aruba next week with the love of my life! :)
I hope you all find the happiness in love that you are looking for!
eHarmony.com Commercials:
| To eHarmony.com |
If you are looking for a dating site that is not just a meat market. This is the one. You can only be matched with people who are similar to you, so you don't get swamped with messages from everyone under the sun. If you are going to do online dating, this is the site to use!